BRODERICK: Hello there. Sorry I’m late… Just f—ed up. I totally–

LANE: You’ve been ill. You’ve been on medication.

MB: No, I just forgot. I totally spaced out. What a fun little angle that will be. [Laughs.] “He rushes in, disheveled, talking like an idiot.”

NL: Nooo, you look snappy.

MB: Well, I knew I had an interview this morning.

NL: This morning. And then you couldn’t remember why you put the suit on?

MB: Yeah.

NL: Great. As I told you yesterday, the blueprint for this interview is that New York Times interview with [director] Joe Mantello and [actress] Mary-Louise Parker, which is all about craft and, you know, the importance of theater in today’s society. But of course, we’re incredibly vain and shallow. So most of this dialogue will be about weight and hair.

MB: Could I have a cup of coffee?

NL: Do you want pie? Banana cream pie, will that cheer you up?

MB: Yeah. Pie’s a cheerful thing.

NL: Well, you know, I first saw Matthew in “Brighton Beach Memoirs” and was amazed. He just had so much charm and charisma–and also you thought, “Wow, it’s like he’s inhabited by an old vaudevillian.” How old were you when you did that?

MB: I was 21.

NL: So I was walking up 57th Street, and I saw him, and I had just seen the play. And I stopped him and said, “I just have to tell you, you were just fabulous.” And he was very shy and said, “Thank you, thank you very much.” And then he noticed…

MB: I didn’t even know who he was.

NL: No, no. I wasn’t, uh, that famous. And we both happened to be wearing blue striped shirts. And for lack of anything else to say, he said, “Look, we’re wearing the same shirt.” In that very Matthew Broderick way. And I laughed and I said, “Well, you’re my idol. Now I’m starting to dress like you.” And that’s when he started to get nervous and–[They both laugh.]

MB: I got frightened.

NL: –and he looked for a cop. No, he just went on his way. After that we would run into each other here and there, you know. We knew each other from “The Lion King” [both did voices]. But we had never worked together onstage.

NL: We’re haunted by them. Zero and Gene will always be Bialystock and Bloom. And we’re borrowing the roles for a while.

NL: There’s a huge part of the show that’s our chemistry. And that really helps the show overall. Because if two people were doing this and feeling either competitive or not getting along, you would sense it.

MB: Which is one nice thing about going on the road in a show. You do get to know people better than when you’re at home. We went shopping a few times in Chicago.

NL: We went to Prada–which is Italian for “you can’t afford this.”

MB: I bought a lot. A couple of suits, some shoes.

NL: Yeah, he actually bought more than me. Hey, we haven’t talked about craft.

MB: We don’t have any craft.

NL: Here’s what I think. I think it’s time to talk to Mr. Brando.

NL: [Assumes TV announcer voice.] Mr. Brando, listen, I can’t thank you enough for joining us here at Joe Allen’s. And since you are known as the greatest actor of your generation, in fact, maybe the greatest actor this country has ever seen, would you talk a little about–about how you process a role? How you begin your work?

MB: [Assumes perfect voice of Brando, with whom he starred in the movie “The Freshman.”] Rinky dinky tinky linky, parlez vous. Rinky dinky hinky pinky parlez vous.

NL: And what exactly does that mean?

MB: I would no sooner discuss acting than I would put a fried egg in my armpit.

NL: Wait a minute, you do have a fried egg in your armpit. Is that like for later when you get hungry?

MB: What I do when I’m hungry is neither any of your business nor anyone else’s business whatsoever, whomever they may be.

MB: Yes, sometimes.

NL: He’s a brilliant improviser. It’s nice to know, if something goes wrong, we can just talk for 10 minutes.

MB: Oh, yeah.

NL: She’s a great cheerleader and she loves the show. She’s like a groupie.

MB: And when I become despondent, she always helps me keep my chin up.

MB: Oh, you know, that’s too strong a word. But I mean, I don’t know–

NL: Suicidal is more–

MB: Suicidal is more accurate. It’s a show–I don’t know, you just get worried.

NL: You know, they’ve taken this beloved film and there was always the danger of, oh, you know, they’ve ruined it. But at least it was Mel [Brooks] doing it. It’s his baby. And now, because we’ve come from Chicago, where we opened the show and people really liked it, there’s all this kind of heat and hype that we–that has nothing to do with us.

MB: It’s an enormous amount of pressure in a weird way. I mean, it’s much better than if everybody was saying, “I hear it stinks.” It’s a big show and it’s become a sort of big deal, you know. And it’s very intimidating.

NL: And we also have a lot to do. There’s a lot of responsibility in the show that drives the play along. And you just, you know–you have to be focused. Otherwise you’ll get hit with a piece of scenery. But we still haven’t talked about craft.