“It started out as more of a joke at first,” Luke, who lives in the U.K., told Newsweek. “I thought I’d put the age range up and see what happens.”
Changing the age range to 25 to 60, Luke was flooded with matches but it was Winn who caught her eye. Unlike most of the other men she connected with, Winn decided to play hard to get.
“He was a bit vague,” she said. “He sent me a message saying ‘if you want to get in touch text this number.’ I thought, I’m going to have to do the work here.”
Their first date was at Winn’s mansion—a former girls’ school he’d renovated—where he cooked her a venison stew paired with champagne. Within a few days, the pair were holidaying together in Marbella in Spain, staying at Winn’s villa for two weeks straight.
Since then, the couple have become inseparable, getting engaged in June.
“I talk to friends about their relationships, and some of it is just so petty,” she said. “There is just none of that with an older guy. The stuff that 20-odd year-olds argue over, it just is not the case with us.”
Can Relationships With A Big Age Gap Ever Work Out?
A recent poll by Cougar Life found that 39 percent of Americans have dated someone more than 10 years older than them. Surveying 1,005 adults, researchers found that 57 percent would be open to dating someone 10-plus years older, while 49 percent would be interested in someone 10-plus years younger.
Emotional maturity and financial freedom were considered key benefits of dating someone older, while physical attractiveness and open-mindedness were regarded as the top benefits of dating someone younger.
Professional matchmaker Kara Bell spends her days creating couples that click. She said like any relationship, age-gap romances have their pros and cons.
Bell told Newsweek: “For the younger partner, a large age gap can provide stability.
“More specifically, women who are seeking a father-figure-like relationship and financial stability in their relationship may tend to date much older men.
However, an age gap can also lead to a clash in values or competing life goals and aspirations.
“One might just be getting established in their career while the other is near retirement,” Bell added.
“It can also result in the younger partner becoming a caretaker sooner than anticipated, which could lead to resentment and a loss of independence.”
Mistakes To Avoid In Age-Gap Relationships
Mistakes to avoid in an age-gap relationships include not discussing the future, invalidating each others’ experiences and being unwilling to compromise.
“Communication is the foundation of any relationship,” Bell said. “So acknowledging and discussing challenges early can prevent resentment or misunderstandings in the future.”
She said that judgment from friends and family can also cause friction between age-gap couples, but there are ways to get them on board.
“The support of family and friends can also help to make any relationship, but especially age-gap relationships, last,” she said. “So show them the shared love and respect you have for each other.”
Winn’s family—including 23-year-old daughter Nina and 21-year-old son Josh—love their soon-to-be stepmom. However, she was recently mistaken for his daughter on a recent trek to Machu Picchu.
“The guide was from South America and when he realized I was Jeff’s girlfriend and not his daughter, he just shook his hand and said ‘Well done,’” Luke said.
Since the relationship began, Winn has showered Luke with expensive gifts, such as a Rolex watch, a hot pink car, diamond earrings and trips around the world. However, Luke said it’s a two-way street, with her treating Winn as often as she can. Luke believes this dedication to their dad is why Nina and Josh trust her more than Winn’s exes.
“I buy him gifts, and he’s never had a girlfriend that has done this before, so perhaps some of his exes were gold diggers,” she said.
Despite the 30-plus year age gap, Luke said she’s the mature one in the relationship, calling Winn a “young soul.”
She also describes him as “very down to earth” and someone who “loves a bargain.”
Never really relating to people her own age, she enjoys the company of Winn’s friends and family, especially his daughter.
“Nina and I are the same age, so we go out dancing together,” she said. “We regularly go around his parents for dinner. We’re just normal.”
Their family and friends are accepting of their romance, but Luke sometimes has to deal with trolls online.
“If there’s a photo of me and Jeff, and Jeff looks particularly older, someone will direct message me abuse,” she said. “But it’s just jealousy. We just laugh them off.”
Although she is sometimes labeled a gold digger, Luke wouldn’t change a thing about her relationship with Winn.
“People will sometimes ask questions like ‘are you just with him for his money,’” she said.
“But they’ll also ask him ‘are you only with her because she’s young and beautiful,’ so it goes both ways.”
