Many people go through the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This is not always a linear journey, and people may jump around between the stages during their grieving process.

Instrumental grievers often intellectualize emotions, express grief physically, and cope by taking action. Intuitive grievers often experience strong emotional reactions, express feelings readily, and to cope, they explore those feelings.

In reality, both individuals are suffering similar, immense pain. But because their counterpart expresses grief differently than they do, each partner may assume that their inner experience is different, too. This misunderstanding may cause distrust and disconnection over time.

Tell him that you won’t pressure him to talk about his emotions: “You don’t have to discuss anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. This conversation can go however you want it to. ” Insist that he doesn’t need to be strong: “I hope you know that I would never judge you for how you feel. You don’t have to be strong around me. ” To ease into an emotional conversation, ask about his thought process: “What have you been thinking about since it happened?"

Even if he appears fine, offer him the same comfort you would if he were openly grieving. Give him a hug or a pat on the shoulder.

“Hey, how is Will doing? Have you spoken to him recently? You should check-in and invite him over for dinner. I’ll make lasagna, your favorite!” Ask him, “What can I do for you?” instead of, “Is there anything I can do for you?” Direct, supportive questions will make him more likely to use you for help. [12] X Research source “I was actually just going to pick up ice cream at that spot on 5th. Isn’t that your favorite? Want to join me?”

Ask to do a project around the house with him. Help him plan the funeral. Suggest an activity that will allow him to keep busy and hold a conversation. Invite him on a walk or a fishing trip, for example. [14] X Research source

Helplines offer comfort, strength, and professional advice for people struggling. If you believe he might need immediate help, call here.